Breaking Through Ego: Healing Trauma and Rediscovering the True Self
- seanoconnorlmhc
- Dec 16, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Jan 7
Understanding Personality in Simple Terms
Personality is a mix of our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and how we interact with the world. From a psycho-spiritual view, personality is more than just our psychological traits; it’s a reflection of our soul’s journey through life. It’s shaped by both our spiritual essence—our true self—and the ego, which forms as we face life’s challenges.
The Two Sides of Personality: True Self and Ego
The True Self: This is our core essence. It’s wise, compassionate, and connected to inner peace and love. It remains pure and untouched by life’s challenges.
The Ego: This part develops as we grow and adapt to the world. It helps us function but can become distorted by difficult or traumatic experiences. The ego is protective and often acts from fear or insecurity, hiding the true self.
How Trauma Affects the Ego
Trauma—whether physical, emotional, or psychological—can disrupt how our personality develops. When we experience trauma, especially as children, the ego can become fragmented as a defense. It creates “ego states” to help manage pain, but these can lead to lasting issues.
Example: A child who feels neglected may develop an ego state that believes they are worthless. As an adult, this may result in a constant need for validation or feelings of unworthiness.
In spiritual terms, trauma blocks our connection to the true self. Instead of acting from our core essence, we operate from these hurt ego states, which can cause emotional and psychological challenges.
Ego States and Their Impact
Ego states are like defense mechanisms formed to protect us but can become unhealthy over time. Here’s how they may show up:
Depression: Deep feelings of hopelessness and disconnection from the true self.
Anxiety: Constant worry and alertness, driven by a need to feel safe.
Personality Disorders: In extreme cases, trauma can cause severe fragmentation, with different ego states taking control at different times, leading to unstable behavior.
Healing Trauma and Reconnecting with the True Self
Healing involves more than treating symptoms. It’s about reconnecting with the true self and integrating fragmented ego states. Here are some key approaches:
Awareness and Mindfulness: Observing our patterns without judgment helps reduce the power of ego states.
Inner Child Work: Healing childhood wounds by reconnecting with the younger self who experienced the trauma.
Trauma-Informed Therapy: Methods like Internal Family Systems (IFS), somatic therapy, and EMDR help process trauma. IFS, for example, views the mind as having different parts and helps heal them from the perspective of the true self.
Spiritual Practices: Activities like prayer or energy healing can help reconnect with our true self and reduce the ego’s hold.
How The EMDR Therapy Progress Journal Can Support Ego and Trauma Work
The EMDR Therapy Progress Journal is a supportive tool for clients working through trauma, ego states, and identity shifts in therapy.
When doing trauma or parts-based work, many people struggle to track what is happening internally. Thoughts, emotions, and body sensations can feel overwhelming or hard to articulate.
This journal can help you:
Notice patterns in emotional reactions and ego states
Track shifts in beliefs about yourself
Reflect on therapy sessions without overanalyzing
Create space between the true self and protective parts
Externalize experiences so your nervous system does not have to hold everything internally
The journal is not about fixing yourself. It is about increasing awareness, self-compassion, and integration as healing unfolds.
Reclaiming the True Self
Personality is the balance between the ego and the true self. Trauma can disrupt this balance, but healing allows us to harmonize the two. The goal isn’t to get rid of the ego but to integrate it in a way that serves our higher purpose. This journey leads to greater peace, wholeness, and spiritual awakening, where our personality reflects the wisdom of our soul rather than past pain. Where the fragmented pieces of the self come together in a unified and harmonious whole.
About our Scarsdale Sports Therapist Sean O' Connor
Sean O'Connor is a licensed mental health counselor (LMHC) and child therapist at Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling in Scarsdale, NY.
Sean specializes in sports psychology and trauma informed counseling to helps kids, adults and athletes overcome anger, depression, anxiety, PTSD and stress.
Sean loves working with kids, teens and athletes to help them feel seen and understood and teach them invaluable coping skills.
Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling
At Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling, we understand that healing trauma is not about eliminating parts of yourself. It is about helping all parts feel safe enough to reconnect with your true self.
Our therapists take a trauma-informed approach that honors both the psychological and emotional impact of past experiences. We work with children, teens, adults, and athletes who may feel disconnected from themselves, stuck in survival patterns, or overwhelmed by emotions that seem to come from nowhere.
We support clients who are navigating:
Trauma and PTSD
Anxiety, depression, and emotional overwhelm
Ego states shaped by early experiences
Identity confusion or loss of self after trauma
Stress related to performance, relationships, or life transitions
Our work is grounded in compassion, nervous system awareness, and respect for your pace. Healing is not forced. It unfolds as safety and trust are built.
If you are located in New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, or Florida, you can schedule a free 15-minute consultation to explore whether trauma-informed therapy at Peaceful Living is a good fit for you.
If you are outside of our service area, we encourage you to seek a trauma-informed therapist in your state. Support is available, and you do not have to navigate this work alone.
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Go Deeper in Your Healing Journey
🎁 Learn More About The EMDR Therapy Progress Journal
📚 Check out our blogs, where our therapists break down EMDR concepts, trauma education, and practical healing strategies you can start today.
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