Understanding Personality in Simple Terms
Personality is a mix of our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and how we interact with the world. From a psycho-spiritual view, personality is more than just our psychological traits; it’s a reflection of our soul’s journey through life. It’s shaped by both our spiritual essence—our true self—and the ego, which forms as we face life’s challenges.
The Two Sides of Personality: True Self and Ego
The True Self: This is our core essence. It’s wise, compassionate, and connected to inner peace and love. It remains pure and untouched by life’s challenges.
The Ego: This part develops as we grow and adapt to the world. It helps us function but can become distorted by difficult or traumatic experiences. The ego is protective and often acts from fear or insecurity, hiding the true self.
How Trauma Affects the Ego
Trauma—whether physical, emotional, or psychological—can disrupt how our personality develops. When we experience trauma, especially as children, the ego can become fragmented as a defense. It creates “ego states” to help manage pain, but these can lead to lasting issues.
Example: A child who feels neglected may develop an ego state that believes they are worthless. As an adult, this may result in a constant need for validation or feelings of unworthiness.
In spiritual terms, trauma blocks our connection to the true self. Instead of acting from our core essence, we operate from these hurt ego states, which can cause emotional and psychological challenges.
Ego States and Their Impact
Ego states are like defense mechanisms formed to protect us but can become unhealthy over time. Here’s how they may show up:
Depression: Deep feelings of hopelessness and disconnection from the true self.
Anxiety: Constant worry and alertness, driven by a need to feel safe.
Personality Disorders: In extreme cases, trauma can cause severe fragmentation, with different ego states taking control at different times, leading to unstable behavior.
Healing Trauma and Reconnecting with the True Self
Healing involves more than treating symptoms. It’s about reconnecting with the true self and integrating fragmented ego states. Here are some key approaches:
Awareness and Mindfulness: Observing our patterns without judgment helps reduce the power of ego states.
Inner Child Work: Healing childhood wounds by reconnecting with the younger self who experienced the trauma.
Trauma-Informed Therapy: Methods like Internal Family Systems (IFS), somatic therapy, and EMDR help process trauma. IFS, for example, views the mind as having different parts and helps heal them from the perspective of the true self.
Spiritual Practices: Activities like prayer or energy healing can help reconnect with our true self and reduce the ego’s hold.
Reclaiming the True Self
Personality is the balance between the ego and the true self. Trauma can disrupt this balance, but healing allows us to harmonize the two. The goal isn’t to get rid of the ego but to integrate it in a way that serves our higher purpose. This journey leads to greater peace, wholeness, and spiritual awakening, where our personality reflects the wisdom of our soul rather than past pain.where the fragmented pieces of the self come together in a unified and harmonious whole.
About our Scarsdale Sports Therapist Sean O' Connor
Sean O'Connor is a licensed mental health counselor (LMHC) and child therapist at Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling in Scarsdale, NY.
Sean specializes in sports psychology and trauma informed counseling to helps kids, adults and athletes overcome anger, depression, anxiety, PTSD and stress.
Sean loves working with kids, teens and athletes to help them feel seen and understood and teach them invaluable coping skills.
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