Navigating Holiday Stress with IFS: Supporting Overwhelmed and Protective Parts
- annabellalipson
- 4 days ago
- 4 min read
How holiday stress IFS support helps you move through the season with Self energy
The holiday season often comes wrapped in mixed emotions. For many people, it brings warmth, connection, and cherished traditions. For others, it ignites anxiety, grief, family tension, overstimulation, or a sense of pressure to “keep it all together.”
From an Internal Family Systems (IFS) perspective, these reactions make perfect sense: different parts of us get activated during this time of year, each trying, often quite hard - to help us cope.
What would the holidays feel like if all your parts were welcomed, understood, and supported? What might soften inside you if your protectors felt less alone? Holiday Stress with IFS work gives you the tools to be the compassionate leader your internal system has been waiting for, during the holidays and all year long.
Understanding these internal dynamics can transform the holidays from a season of overwhelm into an opportunity for compassion, clarity, and Self-led choice.
Why the Holidays Activate So Many Parts
Holidays tend to stir up internal activity because they bring:
Family systems and old roles
High expectations (social, cultural, and internal)
Grief or memories of loss
Stressors around time, money, and energy
Sensory overload or disrupted routines
When external pressure rises, protective parts step forward to manage the intensity. Their strategies aren’t random, they’re adaptive and rooted in past experiences.
Common Parts That Show Up During the Holidays
1. The Over-Achiever / Perfectionist
This part wants everything to go smoothly: the meal, the gathering, the gifts, the conversations. It often fears judgment or conflict and works tirelessly to prevent either.
2. The Pleaser
This part may push you to agree to every event, say yes to every request, or hide your true needs to “keep the peace.” Its core fear: disappointing others or causing tension.
3. The Anxious Planner
This part scans ahead for everything that might go wrong, trying to avoid chaos or unexpected conflict.
4. The Numbing Part
Over-eating, scrolling, drinking, or dissociating can be attempts by a protector to soften emotional overwhelm.
5. The Younger Exiled Part
Sometimes a younger part carries memories of past holidays that were tense, lonely, or unpredictable. This part may feel sadness, fear, or longing, and it needs gentleness—not pressure to “perform” for the season.
Supporting Your Parts with Curiosity and Self Energy
IFS invites us to shift from reacting to our parts to relating to them.
The goal is not to suppress, shame, or silence them, but to offer understanding and leadership.
Here’s how you can stay Self-led through the holidays:
1. Notice Which Parts Are Activated
Pause and ask yourself:
“Who in me is feeling stressed right now?”
“Is there a part that’s trying to manage something for me?” Simply identifying the part can lower intensity.
2. Acknowledge Their Good Intentions
Every part believes it’s helping, even if its strategy isn’t working anymore. Try saying internally:
“I see how hard you’re working.”
“Thank you for trying to protect me.”
This softens internal conflict and makes space for Self Energy.
3. Hold Boundaries with Compassion
Boundaries don’t have to be harsh; they can be loving and calm. When protectors feel supported rather than overridden, setting limits becomes much easier.
Examples:
“I appreciate the part that wants to say yes to everything, and I’m choosing one gathering this weekend.”
“I hear the part that’s afraid of disappointing people. I’ll check in with you after I respond.”
3. Offer Reassurance to Younger Parts
If sadness, grief, or loneliness arise, a younger exile may be present. You might say internally:
“I’m here with you.”
“You don’t have to handle this alone.”
“What do you need right now?”
This turns holiday emotional triggers into moments of internal healing.
4. Build in Micro-Rest Moments
Your nervous system and your parts respond well to short, intentional pauses:
A few slow breaths
A walk outside
A quiet room for 5 minutes
A grounding object or scent. These tiny resets help settle protectors that fear chaos or overstimulation.
Creating a Self-Led Holiday Season
Self Energy - calm, compassion, clarity, curiosity - is your guiding light during busy or emotional seasons. The more your parts feel your presence, the less they need to jump in with extreme efforts.
A Self-led holiday season doesn’t mean everything goes perfectly. It means you move through the season with inner steadiness, connectedness, and choice.
All About Scarsdale Therapist: Annabella Lipson, MHC-LP
Annabella Lipson supports teens, adults, and families at our Scarsdale office and virtually across NY, NJ, CT, and FL. Her approach is warm, steady, and deeply rooted in trauma informed IFS work. Clients describe her presence as grounding, compassionate, and non judgmental, especially when exploring vulnerable internal parts.
Annabella helps clients understand their internal system so they can move through stress, conflict, or overwhelm with more compassion and clarity. Her goal is to help you feel less alone with your inner world and more connected to your Self energy.
Annabella’s style with IFS clients
Gentle, structured guidance that helps you meet your parts with curiosity
Support for protective parts without pushing or overwhelming them
Deep appreciation for nuance, emotional safety, and pacing
Skillful attunement to younger or exiled parts that hold pain, grief, or fear
PLMHC: A Trauma Informed Space for Emotional Healing
At Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling, we provide trauma informed therapy for kids, teens, adults, and families. Our Scarsdale office and virtual services support clients across NY, NJ, CT, and FL.
We believe healing happens through connection, safety, and compassionate understanding. If you are struggling with holiday stress, emotional overwhelm, or family dynamics, you deserve support that honors your story.
If you are in crisis, call 988 in the U.S. or your local emergency number.
Related Blogs from PLMHC
Go Deeper in Your Healing Journey
🎁 Learn More About The EMDR Therapy Progress Journal
📚 Check out our blogs, where our therapists break down EMDR concepts, trauma education, and practical healing strategies you can start today.
Ready to Navigate the Holidays with More Ease and Support?
You do not have to get through the holidays on your own, and your parts do not need to carry everything by themselves.
👉 Book a free 15 minute consultation with Scarsdale therapist Annabella Lipson:
Comments