Feeling Triggered During the Holidays? A Scarsdale Therapist Explains Why
- Sonia Gonzalez
- 5 days ago
- 3 min read
The holidays can be beautiful time of year - full of light, music, and togetherness. But if you’re honest, they can also be a lot. Between family expectations, social events, financial stress, and the pressure to feel happy all the time, it’s easy to feel anxious, disconnected, or completely drained.
If you’ve ever thought, “I should be enjoying this… so why do I feel so off?”, you’re not alone. It's more common than you might think to struggle more than usual during the holidays. The holidays can bring up old memories, highlight loneliness, and even trigger trauma responses that you thought you’d outgrown.
Why the Holidays Trigger Stress
The truth is, the holidays tend to amplify whatever’s already happening inside of us. Maybe you’re trying to balance school, work, or relationships while pretending everything’s fine around family. Maybe you’re dealing with grief, complicated relationships, or just trying to keep it together when everyone expects you to be joyful.
You might notice yourself:
Feeling anxious or on edge before gatherings.
Shutting down or zoning out when conversations get tense.
Comparing yourself to others or feeling like you’re not doing enough.
Overthinking or replaying interactions long after they’ve ended.
All of these are expected responses to stress. Your mind and body are simply trying to protect you, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.
Signs The Holidays Are a Trigger for You
You feel emotionally exhausted or disconnected, even around people you love.
You find yourself avoiding certain family members or situations.
You’re having flashbacks or strong emotional reactions that don’t make sense.
You’re noticing changes in sleep, appetite, or motivation.
If this sounds familiar, it’s not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign your system might need extra care, and therapy can help you find stability and peace again.
Grounding Tools for Holiday Stress
Here are some simple ways to protect your peace this holiday season:
Give yourself permission to step away. Taking breaks during family events or social gatherings isn’t rude, it’s self-care.
Practice “micro-regulation.” Try slow breathing, holding something comforting (like a bracelet or stress ball), or noticing 5 things around you.
Set small boundaries. Saying, “I don’t want to talk about that right now” is completely okay.
Focus on one supportive person. Identify who feels safe and grounded — spend time with them when things get overwhelming.
Remember: joy doesn’t have to be forced. It’s okay if your version of “holiday spirit” looks quiet, simple, or different this year.
You Deserve a Peaceful Holiday
The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. You deserve to feel safe, centered, and seen, even if this season looks different from everyone else’s.
All About Scarsdale Therapist Sonia Gonzalez, LMHC
Sonia Gonzalez, LMHC, works with teens, parents, and families in our Scarsdale office and virtually across NY, NJ, CT, and FL.
Sonia understands how complex parent teen relationships can feel, especially when communication has broken down or emotions run high.
She helps families learn how to slow down difficult moments, understand what is happening underneath the reactions, and build healthier communication patterns that support long term emotional health.
Parents appreciate Sonia’s supportive guidance and practical tools. Teens appreciate that she listens, validates, and never rushes the process. Her goal is always to help families feel more connected, understood, and emotionally safe together.
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