As a parent or caregiver, watching your child struggle with emotional challenges can be heart-wrenching. Whether it's trauma from a difficult event, anxiety, or struggles with self-esteem, children are often not equipped with the tools to process their emotions in a healthy way. In these cases, therapy can provide a much-needed safe space for children to heal and grow.
One of the most effective and increasingly popular therapeutic techniques for children is EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). Originally developed to treat post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in adults, EMDR has since proven to be highly effective for children as well. In fact, EMDR’s gentle yet powerful approach can be particularly beneficial for young clients, offering them a unique opportunity to process difficult emotions, traumatic experiences, and negative beliefs in a way that suits their developmental needs.
In this blog, I’ll explore how EMDR therapy works with children, why it’s so effective, and what parents can expect when their child undergoes EMDR treatment.
What is EMDR Therapy?
EMDR is a structured therapeutic approach designed to help individuals process distressing memories, thoughts, and emotions. It uses bilateral stimulation—usually through eye movements, taps, or sounds—to help the brain reprocess traumatic experiences, moving the memories from a state of emotional distress to a place of emotional resolution and adaptive thinking.
EMDR is based on the idea that unprocessed traumatic memories can get “stuck” in the brain, leading to persistent negative emotions and behavioral patterns. By using bilateral stimulation, EMDR helps the brain process these memories more effectively, reducing the emotional charge they carry and allowing the individual to integrate them in a healthier way.
Why EMDR is Effective with Children
Children are often more emotionally affected by trauma and stress than adults realize. Because children may not have the words or cognitive maturity to process their emotions verbally, trauma can manifest in behavior problems, school difficulties, or physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches. In this context, EMDR’s nonverbal, sensory-based approach is an ideal fit for working with young clients.
Here are some reasons why EMDR is especially effective with children:
1. Nonverbal Techniques for Young Children
Unlike talk therapy, which can sometimes be difficult for children to engage in, EMDR provides alternative ways for children to express themselves and process trauma. EMDR uses bilateral stimulation—such as following the therapist's fingers with their eyes, tapping, or listening to alternating sounds—which engages both sides of the brain. This process helps the brain reprocess memories without the need for verbal expression, making it particularly effective for children who might struggle to articulate their feelings.
Example: A young child who witnessed a traumatic event may not have the language to express what they saw or felt, but EMDR allows them to reprocess the memory without needing to explain every detail. The bilateral stimulation helps the brain work through the trauma in a safe and controlled manner.
2. Children’s Brains are Highly Responsive to EMDR
Children’s brains are more neuroplastic and flexible than adult brains, which means they are often more responsive to therapy. This is particularly true for EMDR, which helps children’s brains rewire and process emotions in healthier ways. When traumatic memories are processed with EMDR, children can "rework" those memories, reducing their emotional intensity and forming new, healthier associations.
Example: If a child was bullied at school, EMDR can help process the emotional distress tied to those memories, allowing the child to feel more confident and secure in social situations, rather than feeling overwhelmed by fear or shame.
3. Helps with Behavioral Issues
Because trauma can often manifest as behavioral problems in children, EMDR can be a very effective treatment for children struggling with issues such as anger, aggression, anxiety, or withdrawal. By targeting the root cause of the behavior (often an unprocessed traumatic event or negative belief), EMDR can help children resolve emotional issues that are driving their actions, leading to lasting improvements in behavior.
Example: A child who acts out in school or at home might be struggling with feelings of insecurity or fear related to past trauma. EMDR helps address the root emotional issue, which can help the child express themselves in healthier ways.
4. Tailored Approaches for Different Ages
EMDR can be adapted for children of different ages, from young toddlers to teenagers. With younger children, therapists often use play-based techniques, drawings, and other creative interventions to engage them in the process. For older children and teens, EMDR can be more verbal, with the therapist helping the child identify specific memories, thoughts, and emotions to process. The approach is flexible and can be adjusted to the developmental needs of the child.
Example: For a young child, a therapist may have the child draw pictures about their feelings or use stuffed animals to act out different scenarios. For an adolescent, the therapist may guide them through the reprocessing of specific memories or beliefs that are contributing to their anxiety or depression.
5. Effective for a Wide Range of Issues
While EMDR is most commonly associated with trauma, it is also effective for addressing a wide range of emotional and behavioral issues that children may face. This includes:
Anxiety and phobias (e.g., fear of the dark, fear of school)
Grief and loss (e.g., coping with the death of a loved one or pet)
Adjustment to life changes (e.g., divorce, moving to a new home)
School-related stress (e.g., performance anxiety, bullying)
Attachment issues (e.g., difficulty bonding due to early neglect or abuse)
Because EMDR focuses on the emotional experience rather than just the symptoms, it can provide relief for children dealing with a variety of challenges.
What Parents Can Expect During EMDR with Children
If you’re considering EMDR therapy for your child, here’s what you can expect during the process:
Initial Assessment and Goal Setting: The first few sessions of EMDR therapy typically involve an assessment where the therapist will gather information about your child’s history, the specific issues they are dealing with, and their emotional needs. Together, you and your therapist will work to set goals for the therapy and discuss what you hope to achieve.
Phase 1 – Preparation: In the preparation phase, the therapist will work with your child to establish trust, create a safe space, and teach them some basic grounding or relaxation techniques. These techniques will help your child feel more comfortable during the actual reprocessing phases.
Reprocessing of Memories: Once your child feels comfortable with the process, the therapist will begin the reprocessing work. This involves using bilateral stimulation (like eye movements or tapping) while your child recalls memories or emotions related to their trauma or distress. Your child may not need to go into great detail about the memory—they may just focus on the emotional feelings associated with it.
Integration and Closure: As your child processes their memories, they will begin to experience a shift in their emotions, often feeling calmer and more at ease about the events. The therapist will guide your child through the integration of new, healthier beliefs and emotions, and ensure that they leave each session feeling grounded and stable.
Ongoing Support: After the session, the therapist will continue to monitor your child’s progress and provide ongoing support. For many children, the results of EMDR therapy are lasting, with improved emotional regulation, reduced anxiety, and healthier coping strategies.
Conclusion: EMDR as a Powerful Tool for Healing
EMDR therapy offers an innovative and highly effective way to help children heal from trauma, anxiety, and emotional struggles. Its nonverbal approach, flexibility, and ability to address a wide range of issues make it a powerful tool for young clients who may not yet have the words or understanding to process their experiences in traditional ways.
If you’re a parent concerned about your child’s emotional well-being, EMDR could be a life-changing therapy. By working with a trained EMDR therapist, your child can process painful experiences in a safe and supported way, allowing them to heal, grow, and develop healthier emotional coping mechanisms for the future.
If you're interested in learning more about how EMDR can benefit your child or would like to discuss your child’s emotional needs, feel free to reach out. Together, we can help your child on their journey toward emotional resilience and healing.
About our Clinical Director Lauren Arnau, EMDR Therapist in Scarsdale, NY
Lauren Arnau is a lifetime resident of Westchester, NY. She is a child and adolescent licensed mental health counselor in Scarsdale, NY and the Clinical Director at Peaceful Living MHC.
Lauren is trained in the use of EMDR, Mindfulness and CBT for the relief of stress and anxiety. She helps adults in these areas as well.
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