Healing from trauma is not a linear process. It’s a journey—sometimes winding, sometimes challenging, but always possible. As you embark on this path toward healing from symptoms of trauma, therapy plays a crucial role in helping you understand, process, and integrate the painful experiences you’ve lived through. But did you know that the work you do outside of therapy is just as important as the work you do in session?
As a mental health counselor specializing in trauma therapy, I often remind my clients of one key truth: you are your own best resource for healing. And a powerful way to support your progress is by practicing regulation skills in your daily life—skills that we explore and work on together in our sessions.
What Are Regulation Skills?
Regulation skills are techniques that help you manage and calm your nervous system when you feel triggered, stressed, or overwhelmed. These skills enable you to shift from a state of fight, flight, or freeze (which are common trauma responses) back to a state of calm, safety, and connection. They are vital for people who have experienced trauma because trauma often causes the nervous system to stay in a heightened state of alertness, making it difficult to feel grounded or at peace.
In therapy, we explore various ways to help you reconnect with your body, emotions, and thoughts in a way that fosters healing. Some of the regulation skills we may work on together include grounding techniques, mindfulness practices, breathing exercises, self-soothing strategies, and ways to identify and shift unhelpful thought patterns.
But here’s the key: for these skills to have a lasting and transformative impact, it’s important to practice them consistently—especially outside of therapy sessions.
Why Is Practicing Regulation Skills Outside of Session So Important?
1. Reinforcement of What You’re Learning in Therapy
Therapy can be incredibly powerful, but to make real progress, it requires more than just talk. It’s through consistent practice of what we work on in session that you can begin to embody new ways of responding to stress and triggers. Imagine learning to use a new tool—you need time and experience to understand how to use it effectively. The more you practice these tools outside of sessions, the more natural they will become in moments of distress, which will lead to faster and more sustainable healing.
2. Strengthening Your Nervous System’s Capacity for Regulation
The science behind this is fascinating. When you repeatedly practice regulation skills, you’re helping to reshape the way your nervous system responds to stress. Neuroscience tells us that our brains are incredibly adaptable—a phenomenon known as neuroplasticity. This means that with time, new neural pathways can form, allowing your body and mind to respond to stress in healthier, more regulated ways. By practicing your regulation skills regularly, you are actively training your brain and nervous system to stay calmer and more balanced, which enhances your ability to handle difficult emotions and situations.
3. Empowerment and Self-Efficacy
One of the most important aspects of trauma healing is regaining a sense of control and agency in your own life. Learning how to regulate your emotions and body can empower you to handle challenges with greater confidence. It’s not just about surviving—it’s about thriving. As you practice and refine these skills, you become more capable of managing your emotional and physical responses, which can reduce feelings of helplessness and increase your sense of self-efficacy.
4. Supporting Your Therapy Progress
When you practice regulation skills outside of therapy, you are helping to create a solid foundation for the therapeutic work we do together. These skills can serve as anchors during our sessions, enabling you to stay present, grounded, and engaged in the process. You’ll find that when your nervous system is in a more regulated state, it’s easier to access the insights, memories, and emotions we explore in therapy. This creates space for deeper processing and integration of trauma, which accelerates healing and promotes long-lasting change.
The Science Behind Regulation Skills
The benefits of regulation skills extend far beyond feeling calm in the moment. They directly impact your brain, body, and overall well-being. When your body is in a state of regulation, your parasympathetic nervous system (also known as the “rest and digest” system) is activated, helping you to feel grounded, calm, and safe.
On the other hand, when we are in a heightened state of stress or arousal (such as during a trigger or flashback), the sympathetic nervous system kicks in, putting us into “fight, flight, or freeze” mode. Over time, prolonged periods of living in this state can have a negative impact on your physical health, emotional well-being, and ability to function in daily life. By practicing regulation skills, you help to balance these systems and bring your body back into a state of calm and safety. This has been shown to have powerful, positive effects on your mental and emotional health.
Getting Started: Simple Regulation Techniques to Practice at Home
You don’t need to wait for a therapy session to begin incorporating regulation skills into your life. Here are a few simple techniques you can practice on your own:
Breathing Exercises:
Deep breathing can activate your parasympathetic nervous system and help calm your body. Try the “4-7-8” method—breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds. Repeat this several times to feel grounded.
Grounding Techniques:
Grounding helps you reconnect to the present moment. One popular method is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: Identify 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.
Body Awareness:
Somatic Experiencing and Polyvagal Theory emphasize the connection between body and mind. Regularly checking in with how your body feels can help you notice tension or discomfort before it becomes overwhelming. You might practice simply noticing where you feel tightness or discomfort and gently releasing it with your breath.
Mindfulness Practices:
Being mindful of your thoughts and feelings in the moment, without judgment, can help you regulate emotional responses. Whether through meditation, mindful walking, or simply noticing your surroundings, mindfulness helps you stay anchored in the present.
Moving Forward with Compassion
Remember, trauma healing is a deeply personal process, and it’s okay to take things one step at a time. By practicing regulation skills outside of therapy, you are giving yourself the tools you need to build resilience and strengthen your sense of safety and control. This consistent practice, along with the support of therapy, can significantly enhance your ability to heal, regain stability, and create a life that feels more peaceful and empowered.
If you’re interested in learning more about how regulation skills can support your healing journey, we're here to help! Whether you’re already in therapy or considering starting, know that you don’t have to go through this journey alone. Together, we can work to create a personalized plan that supports your needs and helps you feel more confident in your ability to cope with life’s challenges.
Healing is possible—and it starts with you.
About our Scarsdale EMDR Therapist Annabella Lipson
Annabella Lipson is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor at Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling in Scarsdale, NY.
She enjoys working with young adults & adults who are dealing with grief, constant sadness, anxiety, PTSD and other heavy emotions that make it difficult to enjoy the present moment.
Annabella has an innate ability to make her clients feel comforted and cared for as they confront their grief and loss. She incorporates a combination of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), EMDR Therapy, Ego-state Interventions and Mindfulness practices in her counseling sessions.
Comments