Resilience in Action: A Sports Therapist’s Approach to Talking to Kids About Violence

As a sports therapist, I often see the importance of mental resilience in helping children overcome challenges, whether physical or emotional. When it comes to discussing tough topics like violence or trauma, it can feel just as difficult as recovering from an injury. The goal is to help children understand these challenges without overwhelming them with fear. Instead, we want to build their resilience so they can face life’s difficulties with strength and confidence.

Here are three tips for guiding these conversations in a supportive, honest, and compassionate way:

1. Create a Safe Space for Open Conversations

Just like in sports, where a safe environment helps athletes feel comfortable taking risks and learning, the same applies when talking to kids about difficult topics. It’s important to help them feel secure and supported during these conversations.

How to Create a Safe Space:

• Start by asking what they know: This gives you a chance to understand their thoughts and clear up any confusion. For example, you might ask, “What have you heard about [event]?” This helps you guide the conversation based on their understanding.

• Acknowledge their emotions: It’s okay if they feel scared, sad, or confused. Let them know that all feelings are normal and it’s okay to express them. You could say, “It’s natural to feel upset when we hear about hard things.”

• Offer age-appropriate explanations: Be honest, but keep it simple. If they ask about why violence happens, you might say, “Sometimes, people make bad choices, but most people are kind and want to help others.”

Creating a space where they feel comfortable sharing their feelings helps them know they can come to you with questions in the future.

2. Teach Them to Think Critically About What They See in the Media

Just like in sports, where we teach kids to make good decisions on the field, it’s important to teach children how to critically assess what they see and hear in the media. Media coverage can often make things feel scarier than they really are, so helping children filter and understand what they see will help them build resilience.

How to Encourage Critical Thinking:

• Limit exposure and watch together: When they see something upsetting, watch with them and talk about it. Ask questions like, “What do you think happened here?” or “How did that make you feel?” This opens the door for discussion and helps them process the information with your guidance.

• Explain that media doesn’t show the whole picture: Help them understand that just because something is on the news doesn’t mean it’s happening everywhere or all the time. “The news shows the most serious stories, but there are many places where people are safe and happy.”

• Teach them to be skeptical of exaggerated stories: Show them how to ask questions like, “Is this something that happens a lot, or is it rare?” This helps them avoid jumping to conclusions based on fear.

Teaching kids to think critically helps them stay calm and not be overwhelmed by media portrayals of the world.

3. Model Resilience and Positive Action

In sports, resilience is key to bouncing back after a tough game or injury. The same idea applies when it comes to emotional challenges. Children learn how to respond to difficult situations by watching adults. By modeling resilience and positive action, you can help them stay strong in the face of adversity.

How to Model Resilience:

• Encourage ways to help others: Show them that they can make a difference, whether through small acts like writing a card for someone in need or donating to a cause. Ask, “What’s something kind we can do today?” This helps them feel empowered.

• Highlight the helpers: Talk about the people who step in to make things better, like doctors, firefighters, or community leaders. “There are always people who help when things are tough, and we can do our part too.”

• Foster empathy and kindness: Instead of focusing on fear, encourage them to think about how they can support others. Discuss how communities come together to help one another and how kindness can help heal.

By showing children how to respond to tough situations with strength and compassion, you teach them that even when bad things happen, there are always ways to cope and contribute positively.

Conclusion

Talking to children about difficult topics doesn’t have to create fear—it’s about building resilience and helping them process challenges in a healthy way. By creating a safe space, teaching critical thinking, and modeling positive action, you can help them face the world with understanding, strength, and compassion. With time and support, they’ll grow into resilient individuals who know how to navigate life’s difficulties with confidence and empathy.

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About our Scarsdale EMDR Sports Therapist Sean O' Connor

Sean O'Connor is a licensed mental health counselor (LMHC) and child therapist at Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling in Scarsdale, NY.

Sean specializes in sports psychology and trauma informed counseling to helps kids, adults and athletes overcome anger, depression, anxiety, PTSD and stress.

Sean loves working with kids, teens and athletes to help them feel seen and understood and teach them invaluable coping skills. 

Schedule a Consultation with Sean O' Connor