Understanding Trust Issues Through a Trauma-Informed Lens
- seanoconnorlmhc
- Oct 7
- 4 min read
Updated: Oct 21
The Hidden Story Behind Trust Issues
Trust issues are a common challenge for many people. They often stem from past experiences and traumas. To truly understand what trust issues mean, we must explore the neurological basis of trust and how trauma affects our ability to trust others.
The Neurological Basis of Trust
Trust is often misunderstood. Many think of it as a conscious decision—a choice to trust or not. However, from a neurological standpoint, trust is much more complex. Neuroscience shows that trust is an automatic reaction based on our brain's assessment of safety and satisfaction.
In infancy, trust is built through secure attachment. Consistent caregiving releases oxytocin, creating a foundational sense of safety. As children grow, trust develops further in supportive environments. These experiences reinforce neural pathways for social engagement and emotional regulation. In adulthood, reliable relationships activate the brain's reward system, solidifying emotional connections. Understanding these neurological aspects of trust highlights its complexity and importance in fostering healthy relationships throughout life.
Trauma and Trust Issues
Trauma can disrupt the natural process of building trust. Traumatic experiences—such as abuse, neglect, or betrayal—leave deep imprints on our brain's trust circuitry. These experiences can condition our brain to stay in a heightened state of arousal, always on the lookout for danger. This makes it harder to respond positively to interactions that typically foster trust.
For individuals with trust issues, the pathways that should facilitate trust are often overridden by signals of caution and self-protection. This can manifest in various ways, including:
Hypervigilance: Always being on guard, expecting betrayal or harm.
Avoidance: Steering clear of relationships or situations where trust is needed.
Difficulty in forming connections: Struggling to develop deep, meaningful relationships.
Overreacting to minor issues: Interpreting small misunderstandings as major breaches of trust.
Healing Trust Issues
Healing from trust issues requires a trauma-informed approach. Here are some key strategies to consider:
Therapeutic Support: Working with a therapist who understands trauma can help explore trust issues in a safe environment. Therapies such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and somatic experiencing can be particularly effective.
Building Safe Relationships: Gradually forming relationships with trustworthy individuals can help retrain the brain. This process takes time and patience. The brain needs repeated experiences of safety and gratification to rebuild trust pathways.
Self-Compassion: Understanding that trust issues are a natural response to trauma can foster self-compassion. Recognizing that your brain is trying to protect you can shift the focus from self-blame to self-care.
Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practices like mindfulness, meditation, and yoga can calm the nervous system. This helps reduce the heightened arousal that impedes trust.
Psychoeducation: Learning about trauma's impact on the brain and trust can empower individuals. Knowledge provides strategies to support the healing journey.
Self-Love as a Practice: Self-love is often misunderstood as simply having a positive self-image. However, like trust, self-love is an ongoing action. It involves consistently taking steps to care for and nurture oneself. Engaging in self-love practices reinforces trust in oneself and ensures support for sustained wellness. This might include:
Setting Boundaries: Protecting your time and energy from unhealthy relationships or commitments.
Self-Care Routines: Regularly engaging in activities that promote physical and emotional well-being, such as exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep.
Positive Self-Talk: Replacing negative self-criticism with affirming and encouraging inner dialogue.
Seeking Joy: Making time for hobbies and activities that bring pleasure and fulfillment.
Asking for Help: Reaching out for support when needed, whether from friends, family, or professionals.
These actions help build a strong foundation of self-trust, demonstrating that your needs and well-being are prioritized.
Understanding the Journey
An important concept to keep in mind is that healthy relationships and genuine rewards may initially feel "boring." This is because we can become addicted to our stress response in the face of various threats. Choosing activities that challenge us physically and mentally can build trust even faster.
When the subconscious experiences arousal and sees itself through to the other side unscathed, the pathway is strengthened. It's crucial to build up to this if you're a beginner. Engaging in rigorous exercise, participating in sports requiring mind-body coordination, or even watching horror movies can help. These activities allow your nervous system to experience fear and then calm down afterward. Gradually, this can help rewire your ability to trust yourself and, in turn, trust interactions with others.
About Our Scarsdale Therapist Sean O'Connor
Sean O’Connor, LMHC is a licensed mental health counselor and sports therapist at Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling in Scarsdale, NY. He specializes in sports psychology and trauma-informed counseling. Sean helps individuals manage anger, anxiety, depression, PTSD, and stress. He is passionate about making clients feel seen and understood while teaching practical coping skills for everyday life. Sean offers in-person and virtual sessions, with early morning, afternoon, and evening availability Monday through Thursday.
About Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling
At Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling, we believe healing happens in safe, supportive spaces. Your story is honored, your culture is respected, and your mental health needs are truly seen.
Whether you’re navigating anxiety, trauma, life transitions, or relationship challenges, our diverse team of licensed therapists offers compassionate, trauma-informed care tailored to you.
We specialize in EMDR therapy, culturally responsive treatment, and whole-person healing for individuals, couples, and families across New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, and Florida.
💛 Therapy doesn’t have to feel clinical or cold. At Peaceful Living, it feels human.
📍 In-person in Scarsdale, NY | 💻 Virtual throughout NY, NJ, Connecticut & Florida.
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