4 Ways to Manage Loneliness this Valentine’s Day

Updated: Dec 22, 2018


Valentine’s Day can be really triggering for a lot of individuals who struggle with anxiety, depression, or relationship issues.  Loneliness can be one of the most challenging emotions, but when you love yourself you’re never alone. Whether you’re single or not, here are 4 ways to show yourself a little love this Valentine’s Day.


Treat yourself

You don’t need a partner just to receive a little love. The best type of love is the one that we give to ourselves. Take yourself for a massage. Send yourself flowers. Go ahead and indulge in chocolate or other treats. Buy yourself that item you’ve had your eye on for a while. Why not? If you have a hard time treating yourself with loving kindness, it’s going to be even harder to attract someone who will do the same. The universe is funny that way. Call it the Law of Attraction, energy flow, or whatever, but there’s definitely a lot of truth to it. So go ahead, enjoy. You deserve it. And you’ll attract others to treat you the same way.


Get moving

All the research shows that exercise is one of the fastest, surest ways to improve your mood. So if you’re feeling a little down, get your butt to the gym. Do some cardio, lift some weights, or take a class. Just moving around gets your energy levels flowing, and let’s face it, stagnant energy never helped anyone. (One of the reasons why Reiki Therapy is so effective). Plus, you never know who you may meet while you’re there. I actually met my husband at the gym.  So taking care of myself actually helped me meet the man of my dreams.  And I’ve never been happier.


Practice Gratitude

When we keep a mentality of gratitude, it’s difficult to feel down. It’s been scientifically proven that people who practice gratitude experience more positive emotions, have a bigger zest for life, and are able to find the good even in the most dire situation. If you’re feeling lonely, can you think of some reasons why you’re grateful to be alone? Yes, I’m married, but I completely relish the nights when I’m alone. If my husband is away on a business trip, I order an insane about of Chinese takeout and get to watch all the HGTV and reruns of The Office that I want (without any complaining). It’s GREAT. What are the things you wouldn’t be able to do if you weren’t alone?


Schedule an appointment with a therapist

Maybe there’s a reason why relationships seem challenging. It could be a history of trauma, depression, or social anxiety. Whatever the case may be, there are trained professionals that can help. EMDR, for example, is one of the most effective therapies for trauma. If you’ve had a terrible divorce that’s made it hard to open yourself back up, EMDR can help with that. Or maybe you’re in a current relationship that has a lot of conflict, and you long for the days when things were better. A trained relationship, like our own Valerie Nivar, can help.


So whether you’re alone this Valentine’s Day (or maybe wishing you were alone), take the time to send yourself some love. Do something, anything, but don’t just sit there and wallow through. You deserve better than that. Behavioral activation, a common CBT technique, is one of the best ways to feel better. Things that we do have a direct correlation on how we feel. Remember, there is a difference between being alone, and feeling lonely. So take the steps to feeling better.


Happy Valentine’s Day!


About The Author



Dana Carretta-Stein is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and founder of Peaceful Living Mental Health Counseling, PLLC, in Scarsdale, NY.   She specializes in clinical psychotherapy to treat individuals with anxiety and trauma difficulties.



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